Nonunion 8 Months | Good News

My has it been a long while? yes, the answer is yes.

Life always gets a bit more busy and complicated once I start moving around without a boot. I become more physically tired and in return mentally tired. Which, unfortunately means my online life suffers but is never and will never be forgotten. 

I have been walking for almost 3 months without the boot and am getting stronger every day. I think the most challenging part about this phase in recovery is pushing through pain day after day. I strongly urge you to do it though. Even if you feel absolutely pooped find something that gets you challenging that bone to heal. It's been proven that being more active promotes healing so do it! No matter how hard. I've really been living by this and my calf muscle has been back for ages now! It's so much easier once things start to become more stable again. However, I still have many aches and pains in all sorts of places. 

On to other news I have just uploaded a new video and am incredibly excited to share this with my blog family.. been a bit nervous honestly. Since part of me is still in utter disbelief. But here it is.... GOOD NEWS.

There it is out in the open. My right foot's journey is finally over. over. Wow, saying that makes me tingly. There are a few details I didn't say in the video that I'd like to say here so I am going to write the story down and if you want to hear it in full keep reading. If not thank you so much for your time and have a good day! As always reach out through comments as well as emails! There are always others finding my blog who may find your thoughts and feelings useful! Including myself.

Doctor Day
(D Day)

I had recently started pushing myself more and more each day and was becoming more worrisome of if things were going well and what not. I had days where there was no doubt that my foot was stronger and healthier then it had been in years. But, then there were other days where it began to hurt differently or even in a familiar way and that is when the worry would set in. Mostly I just badly wanted to know.

Once the day finally came I was a nervous ball of excitement, so was my partner. We got there and as always looked at the collection of good deeds my doctor has done and his stunning collection of books. Anything, to distract how we were feeling. Then I was taken back to do the usual X-ray's; one with your foot flat and normal and one on the side. These have become common practice to me and when the nurse joked about "all you probably want to do is wear sandals" I quietly thought to myself while simultaneously giving her a little chuckle of comfort.. no all I want is my bone to be doing well. Sandals were the least from my mind.

Fairly soon afterward my doctor comes in with his normal kind yet assessing face and his hand stretched out. Something that has become a huge comfort to me during these last 9 months. He shakes my hand and says " You are usually always smiling. You should be smiling." To this I gave him a small side smile which is all I could muster with how unpleasantly nervous I was feeling. Yet, I agree with him everyone should always be smiling. I even felt a ping of guilt not being able to muster up a good one for him.

He sits down and puts the X-Ray up on the screen and zooms into his masterpiece. Takes a good look at it and turns to me and says "It's solid, you can hardly see where there were gaps before. Now they are just small slivers in a bone." Even at this point I wasn't able to give a smile but I did my best. I was in shock. Absolute shock. I had all these questions lined up for him and now none of them seemed to matter. He went on to say that he strongly believes I will continue to get stronger and feel better then I ever had (including before my first surgeries since this is a journey I've been on since age 10).

After I stubbornly asked all my worrisome questions, and was told that I may always feel "weird or odd," he kindly asked to take pictures of my feet. The look in his eyes then is something I will never forget. He was proud. I never expected to see that face from a doctor and let alone about something he had helped me with. However, I now never want to see anything else. He should be proud. He did a magnificent job. From the very first X-ray I saw to how he molded my cast I knew he was a perfectionist. The hard work he did on me paid off and he deserves to be just as overjoyed as I am.

Well readers I know this was a bit different but I hope it was something worth reading.

Until Next Time

TheFootGal

Reoccurring Theme

I'm not sure if I've openly talked about my opinion on situations such as mine (anything that is life changing or altering). It's easy to see that I am physically handicapped. It's not as easy to see or be aware that there are two sides to having a physical handicap.

This is a very personal subject to me and I have only shared it with a handful of close friends and relatives. I strongly believe that there is always a physical and mental challenge while tackling a life changing situation, whether it be changing your diet or losing your feet. It's something that I have been able to be more aware of as I have been going through this for almost 3 years now.

Think about it this way. When you decided to cut out that daily dose of Mickey D's french fries you don't just do your body good but you mentally tend to crave or even miss it like a long lost friend. Studies have shown that people over eat because of their feelings.

I've had so many experiences and still to this day encounter at least one person a day that can not see past my physical trial. They want to know what happened? What is this thing you are on? how long have you been in that cast/boot? Is it going to get better? and well.. when you are honest and say "I do not know and neither does my doctor" they all seem to shrink away. I witness their face gone from curiosity to immediate pity. Most cases these people ask some less "harmful" questions and then walk away and continue their day leaving me with the awful sense that I just told them their dog died.

I'm not sure where you say "HEY I'M A HUMAN WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS." I haven't quite figured this out yet. I usually just scoot along and find a quiet place to read or indulge in my current obsession. The sense that every time I encounter someone like this doesn't go or fade away though. It lingers and sits like I just ate rotten food. In fact I've had it happen over and over with immediate family and close friends, where they swear to me that I don't deserve this and that I will get better. Then I have to silently tell myself that they mean well but the real truth is no one knows the outcome.

It's hard to make friends when so many people look at me and all they see is a big booted foot.

Until next time,

TheFootGal

Nonunion 3 Month | Halloween Update

Things are going very well in my neck of the woods. I just got some incredibly good news, which is that I am no longer in a cast! Wooohooo!!!! It's interesting how much anxiety comes when you are waiting on your doctors visit. 

I have to admit something. I love going to my doctor's office. That is probably weird to most of you but honestly it's the one place I feel.. free to be myself. Completely. All the people I interact with are always cheerful and just so much fun to joke around with. I can't say the same for everyone I meet or interact with during a normal day in the "walking" world. I just love going to my doctor's. 

So, you may be wondering what comes along with getting my cast off. I get to wear my boot which has an air liner. It felt like I had put my whole foot into a pillow! It still does. The doctor said he still wants me non-weight bearing for the most part until November 9th. Once it is November 9th I can start adding some weight. I plan on making a video about this when it happens. Being able to start adding weight can be scary and I have some really exciting ideas of how to use my knee scooter for physical therapy purposes. 

Other then that I've been extremely busy! So odd to me. Last surgeries I was everything but busy and I hated it. Now I can't wrap my mind about how busy I have actually been. I've been knitting hats for so many people! The list keeps growing too so I'm going to have to re-group and start a plan. I thought it would just be a project but it's turned into something I really enjoy and can't wait to dive into making some socks and more patterned Items. 

I had a friend come out and visit for a few days. Halloween was yesterday and I dressed up as a "Jersey Gurl." I have so many plans coming up. I really do want to write a post about keeping yourself occupied after surgery but I honestly haven't been sure of what should be in it. If you have any suggestions please! I'd love to write stuff for my viewers.

Here is a small list of what I do to keep busy:

• Finding old and new talents and using them. (knitting, drawing, reading, creativity)
• ASL Classroom starts Nov. 4th and runs for 10 weeks. I'm taking 2 classes so I will have something 4 times a week!
• Joining a knitting club or some sort of gathering you are interested in and feel safe going to despite your situation. It is really good to get out. 
• I took a Card making class and had an amazing time! Can't wait to do it again even if I'm not too big into card making I love paper crafts.
• Decorating your cast! I keep telling people that if they ever want me to decorate theirs I would do it! 
• ENJOYING LIFE

Now I think I'm going to go start another hat! I've made 3 since my friend was here! 

Until next time,

TheFootGal

Nonunion Week 14 | How's The Foot?

My new favorite game is to answer the question "How is the foot?" Most people ask it along with "how are you?" So it makes me giggle. My favorite response is "I'm doing great and enjoying life! I think my foot is doing okay but it hasn't told me lately!"

I know I haven't posted directly about my foot but to be honest it would just be a repeat. I will give some personal insight to this experience and to my life in general this time. It's different when it isn't your first time and when things aren't mapped out so clearly. However, I have already written posts from my previous surgery that should help with more of a Physical aspect and to give insight to that side of recovery. All those things are still very relevant and are still happening. It's just that I've been able to accept this as my present. Rather then hoping for it to be over every minute that I'm living it.

So here are the links from 2-3 weeks last surgery |

Surgery Day | Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3/4 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 9 | Day 12 | Day 13 | Day 14  | Day 17 | Day 19 | Day 20

If you have already lived this journey with me or if you have already read those post I just linked to, then you know that the me in those post is no longer the me of today. I can sit here and tell you all the physical trials all over again but honestly if you need the help physically that is what those links are for. They focus on the physical aspect of surgery because that is what I, as a person was overcoming at the time.

Don't get me wrong all of those lessons I learned my previous 5 surgeries are important and I still am adhering to them as I live through this most recent surgery. If there is anything you fill you did not get help with or would like further information on PLEASE contact me, the answer is always no if you don't ask. I'd be more then willing to either write about it on here or write you personally to help ease the worry that can come along with the pain.

I think there is an aspect to surgery that tends to not get mentioned. This has to do with any surgery not just foot surgery. There are parts of surgery that can be completely emotionally draining. Let me give an example.

The one that comes clearest to me is the social aspect. As someone who is very young and very healthy and would love to surround herself with people every day. It doesn't seem to happen as often as hoped. I'm not only talking about right now but in the past too. I've mentioned in my video logs and in my blog posts how isolated it is. Physical things are things you can not deny. People see them and instantly feel pity. It's a human emotion and I'm not saying it's wrong. However, I think we should try to show more empathy.

Empathy

the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.


We tend to be distracted by the physical problem when during these things the emotional trauma is what is most damaging to the person. This is my 5th time and I've learned that it's not worth the time to hope that everyone in my life would take a step backwards and at least try to see what it may be like to be isolated in your home. I've had many cases where people have just flat out been rude to me about how "No one could understand."

I'm here to tell you that if you have felt this way you are lying to yourself. Have you ever felt lonely? Depressed? Discouraged? Sad? Angry? Lost your independence? Frustrated? Anxiety? Boredom? Embarrassed? Remorse?

The answer is YES. Sure you can't feel my pain or do this for me. I would never wish it. These kinds of things aren't easy but when the people around you aren't willing to truly empathize with you. FEEL with you. Understand the feelings you are having.. then all you get is dark and lonely feelings.

I am not trying to rag on anyone. No one person is to blame for this. I do blame society a little bit for making so that everyone has the right to be "busy." Sure be busy but in that business remember there is a human out there that is longing for your empathy.

TheFootGal