Nonunion 3 Month | Halloween Update

Things are going very well in my neck of the woods. I just got some incredibly good news, which is that I am no longer in a cast! Wooohooo!!!! It's interesting how much anxiety comes when you are waiting on your doctors visit. 

I have to admit something. I love going to my doctor's office. That is probably weird to most of you but honestly it's the one place I feel.. free to be myself. Completely. All the people I interact with are always cheerful and just so much fun to joke around with. I can't say the same for everyone I meet or interact with during a normal day in the "walking" world. I just love going to my doctor's. 

So, you may be wondering what comes along with getting my cast off. I get to wear my boot which has an air liner. It felt like I had put my whole foot into a pillow! It still does. The doctor said he still wants me non-weight bearing for the most part until November 9th. Once it is November 9th I can start adding some weight. I plan on making a video about this when it happens. Being able to start adding weight can be scary and I have some really exciting ideas of how to use my knee scooter for physical therapy purposes. 

Other then that I've been extremely busy! So odd to me. Last surgeries I was everything but busy and I hated it. Now I can't wrap my mind about how busy I have actually been. I've been knitting hats for so many people! The list keeps growing too so I'm going to have to re-group and start a plan. I thought it would just be a project but it's turned into something I really enjoy and can't wait to dive into making some socks and more patterned Items. 

I had a friend come out and visit for a few days. Halloween was yesterday and I dressed up as a "Jersey Gurl." I have so many plans coming up. I really do want to write a post about keeping yourself occupied after surgery but I honestly haven't been sure of what should be in it. If you have any suggestions please! I'd love to write stuff for my viewers.

Here is a small list of what I do to keep busy:

• Finding old and new talents and using them. (knitting, drawing, reading, creativity)
• ASL Classroom starts Nov. 4th and runs for 10 weeks. I'm taking 2 classes so I will have something 4 times a week!
• Joining a knitting club or some sort of gathering you are interested in and feel safe going to despite your situation. It is really good to get out. 
• I took a Card making class and had an amazing time! Can't wait to do it again even if I'm not too big into card making I love paper crafts.
• Decorating your cast! I keep telling people that if they ever want me to decorate theirs I would do it! 
• ENJOYING LIFE

Now I think I'm going to go start another hat! I've made 3 since my friend was here! 

Until next time,

TheFootGal

Nonunion Week 14 | Atrophy and Some Unpleasantness

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I want to approach my blog. I do still want to talk about my foot journey but I've gotten to a weird point where people who will be having the foot surgery will still relate but they will get better sooner than I have.

If you are reading this for tips then know you are at the right place. If you see that I've been on this journey for 3 years then please do not think that you will also be out of luck for 3 years or longer as I am. I am a rare case. My doctors have all said so. "so young" "I'm not sure why" "you are so healthy." I recently went to get my 3rd cast on and stitches removed. I was excited for both. Stitches are very uncomfortable in a cast and due to atrophy (loss of muscle) in my leg the cast had become extremely loose and wiggly causing it to be even more uncomfortable.

The three days before going in, when I started really losing the muscle, I was having a hard time. Of course I knew this was coming. I wish this was my first time and could be naive to the hardest parts of surgery. However, I knew and I posted about it showing how I'd miss my calf muscle. It took me 2 years to get both of my calf muscles back. I only had full calf muscle for 4 months before I was told I'd have to get surgery again.

To those of you who are reading this and haven't had to experience atrophy I will try to help you understand how hard it can be.

at·ro·phy

ˈatrəfē/

verb

1. 1.

   (of body tissue or an organ) waste away, typically due to the degeneration of cells, or become vestigial during evolution.

   "without exercise, the muscles will atrophy"

   synonyms:

   waste away, become emaciated, wither, shrivel (up), shrink; More
2. 2.

   gradually decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect.

   "her artistic skills atrophied from lack of use"

   
   

Here is a picture showing my own atrophy. I am skinny so there isn't a whole lot but muscle to lose. I'm slowly turning into bone. I have to watch my leg waste away to nothing. Then one day I'll have to go through pain and agony and work through the weakness that my leg will have become by then. It's like when you have taken too much time away from the gym; you've become fat and weak. You go to the gym and work out and what happens? You start becoming strong again. The things that come along with that strength are usually tightness, pain, and discomfort. 

This is similar to my atrophy however.. this muscle I'm losing is everyday muscle that you can't lose without actually not using it. Ever. It's the muscles you use to walk, stand, sit, squat, pic up things off the ground, etc. The muscle that by nature you need to be a human and move around. I can't use that during the healing so I lose them. Then I have to rebuild later but I haven't been walking, standing, squatting or picking up things off the floor. I've been recovering, healing, resting, and preparing. 

It's hard. To know that I am watching myself even in this small area, my calf, waste away to bone. To know that I in a small way am weak. If I tried to walk on this today I probably could but only for a short time. Just like working out you have to slowly build up how much weight you can lift or how many lunges you can do. I'm starting over again. Just like a baby who has never walked before doesn't have the muscles. Each time I go through a surgery like this I lose those muscles. It's hard to watch. It hurts me emotionally. I had to cry for it. I had to accept it. I do accept it. That doesn't change the fact that I'm human. I would like to be able to kick someones ass if needs be. 

My doctor told me some honest truth this visit. He said "Kristy, I have to be honest with you. I do not know why this happened. It's so rare and I've never seen it before. If I'm being honest it could have been done differently the first time but it wasn't anything you did."

He isn't saying that my doctor before messed up, just that my case was hard from the start and that my feet alone were a bit rare, which is probably true since my other doctor laughed and said "where did you get these feet?" when he first saw them. But the important part of that was when my doctor now said "..it wasn't anything you did."

                                                 

The relief to know that I haven't brought this upon myself is tremendous. You always have to be weary in this kind of situation. On some level you give the doctors the 'O.K' to go and work on you. There is a level of uncertainty when things don't go exactly how they should, which seems to happen a lot in my case. So again if you are here for advice then take the advice that atrophy is hard. That you will have to mourn it but that you have the strength to build it up again in the future. Don't fret and worry that this may happen to you.. because honestly my doctor has done so many of these surgeries and has never seen a case like mine. Ever. So odds are you will be fine! you will heal within a Year and be on your way to running marathons. I do hope you come back to my blog and visit. Or even contact me. I will be trying new things and exploring the world in a new way. I do enjoy success stories though so if you are one I'd love to hear about it. 

Until next time,

TheFootGal