Reoccurring Theme

I'm not sure if I've openly talked about my opinion on situations such as mine (anything that is life changing or altering). It's easy to see that I am physically handicapped. It's not as easy to see or be aware that there are two sides to having a physical handicap.

This is a very personal subject to me and I have only shared it with a handful of close friends and relatives. I strongly believe that there is always a physical and mental challenge while tackling a life changing situation, whether it be changing your diet or losing your feet. It's something that I have been able to be more aware of as I have been going through this for almost 3 years now.

Think about it this way. When you decided to cut out that daily dose of Mickey D's french fries you don't just do your body good but you mentally tend to crave or even miss it like a long lost friend. Studies have shown that people over eat because of their feelings.

I've had so many experiences and still to this day encounter at least one person a day that can not see past my physical trial. They want to know what happened? What is this thing you are on? how long have you been in that cast/boot? Is it going to get better? and well.. when you are honest and say "I do not know and neither does my doctor" they all seem to shrink away. I witness their face gone from curiosity to immediate pity. Most cases these people ask some less "harmful" questions and then walk away and continue their day leaving me with the awful sense that I just told them their dog died.

I'm not sure where you say "HEY I'M A HUMAN WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS." I haven't quite figured this out yet. I usually just scoot along and find a quiet place to read or indulge in my current obsession. The sense that every time I encounter someone like this doesn't go or fade away though. It lingers and sits like I just ate rotten food. In fact I've had it happen over and over with immediate family and close friends, where they swear to me that I don't deserve this and that I will get better. Then I have to silently tell myself that they mean well but the real truth is no one knows the outcome.

It's hard to make friends when so many people look at me and all they see is a big booted foot.

Until next time,

TheFootGal

Nonunion Week 15 | My 2 Week Vacation is Over

You may be wondering why I titled this post as a "two week vacation".  If you have been following along then you know that I am not on a vacation at all. Well, I am trying new things and one of those things is making it so people can more easily grasp what it might be like to go through a life changing thing as I have. So far people have told me that I'm doing smashingly at it so lets see if I continue the pattern?

So vacation. From my own personal experience and from experiences of those around me. Whether it's going across the country or just taking time off work. Everyone has this internal clock where it just tells them "okay, I'm bored. This was fun for a while and now let's get back to accomplishing stuff." For most people, of course I can't speak for ALL people, that internal clock is somewhere around the 2 week point.

Well, guess what. I've hit 3 weeks and am starting to feel that tug more and more each day of "let's get this ball rolling." That ball can just mean life in general. The unfortunate part of this internal clock that we all have... when bad things happen to people around us.. lets just say maybe a close friend of yours got.. hm.. foot surgery. Just hypothetically speaking of course.

This person goes through surgery, goes to the hospital, gets home. Everyone knows it because as a good friend they share their life with you and let you know what is going on. However, for those of you who don't actually have to go through this journey with that friend.. your internal clock kicks in also around 2 weeks and from my experience.. which I have had A LOT of experience.. A lot of people tend to forget about that friend that went through surgery two weeks ago..

However, for the most part that friends life has yet to change at all.

So lets talk about me again.. oh wait ;). I have felt guilty about this for years. This happened sooner to me during the first surgery then I could have anticipated. I didn't realize that it would happen and the effect it would have on me. It's plain and simple what happens to people who are forced to stay at home. They become isolated.

i·so·lat·ed

ˈīsəˌlātid/

adjective

1. 1.

   far away from other places, buildings, or people; remote.

   "isolated farms and villages"

   synonyms:

   remote, out of the way, outlying, off the beaten track/path, secluded,lonely, godforsaken, far-flung, inaccessible, cutoff, incommunicado, in the backwoods, in the back of beyond, in the back concessions, in the boonies/boondocks, in the middle of nowhere, in the sticks, in the tall timbers, hinterland More

It's not anyones fault. Heaven forbid I blame any one person for this, because I'd have a lot of people to blame if that was the case. I don't blame people though I honestly don't. The emotions that I feel are usually guilt, loneliness, and isolation.

Some people recognize that their friend is stuck at home but instead of actually going to visit them they sit and feel like that person may be "mad at them" or that they "can't understand so why bother?" Well , damn. Now what have you done for that friend? well.. you Isolated them. All they want is HUMAN CONTACT. We all want it. We all need it. However, we all get it in different ways. Now I need people to put in the effort to HELP ME get that.

I'm not being mean. I'm not pointing fingers. This is all very normal and happens very naturally.. I mean it's called an Internal clock for a reason right? We don't realize it happens sometimes before it's too late. So as someone who is currently feeling very isolated. Please remember that there are people out there who just need a QUICK HUG every once in a while. Who would probably cry with joy just to see another persons face. They aren't going to blame you and if they do then that isn't a real friend anyway! So get off your high horse or.. as society likes to call it "i'm too busy" and get over here and Give me some cuddle time!

Until next time,

TheFootGal