New Year | My Best Moments 2013

Happy New Year!

Photo done by Ausia Hamblin Photography 

Out of everything during the holiday season, New Years is my favorite. I've never been big on resolutions because I think it's important to challenge yourself every day. The thing that sticks for me is being able to set a time mark of where you have come within the year. Starting a new year means reinventing the you of the future.

As I sit here feeling optimistic for the future I was going to make a list of my "bests of 2013."

I'm sure I could make a pretty decent list but the first thing that came to my mind were my doctor experiences this year.

The beginning of this year I was still seeing the doctor that I had when I first moved here. I would go and get x-rays and get vague responses about the pain level I was in. He always had "positive" things to say about it.and things that made us think I was still on a path to recovery. However, after 2 years of looking at X-rays on a pretty consistent 2 month schedule I started to realize nothing seemed to be changing and I just kept having a sinking feeling every time I'd leave his office.

Eventually I got fed up and one morning during our regular Sunday brunch day I brought it up to my partner. It wasn't easy having to tell him that I really didn't trust this guy. Not because I thought it was the wrong choice but because what he had been telling us was just feeding into our "hope." This journey isn't just mine but my partners as well. He wants me to heal and feel strong just as much as I do and having to tell him that I wasn't feeling strong and that I didn't think this doctor was being honest with me was hard for both of us.

After that we went to one more visit before throwing in the towel.

It's a scary process to find a doctor and it can be emotionally troubling for long periods of time. As most great things in this world they usually have some equally bad things to go along with them. For me finding Doctor W. was finally a moment where I felt like I could breathe. I had been feeling the pain of walking on my, now known, nonunions and I was grateful to have a doctor again who seemed as concerned as I was. We all know how this story goes though. My concern was shortly followed by the news of having to start this foot surgery journey all over again.

I still remember Doctor W's eyes when he told me. They were full of sorrow. I can't imagine what it must be like for a doctor to look into a 22 year old's eyes and tell her that she will not only have to do it again but that he wasn't sure he could. I do know though that his emotion and intent was pure and humble. These are all rare and important traits for a doctor to carry.

This is the moment that comes to my mind when I think of 2013. It may seem weird to you that this is my fondest memory of the year but everything that has come to me since that day has been life changing, because this one doctor was humble enough to say I needed more.

I hope that you all have had a wonderful 2013. I know that I have had one of the best years of my life and to you viewers reading this, you play a huge part in that. Thank you.

Remember that we are all just humans getting by. Even the doctors we trust. Don't treat it lightly if you don't trust them. PLEASE find another one. The doctor I have now is someone I hope to have in my life for as long as mortality will allow. He has made this surgery less of a burden. I had someone tell me that while picking a doctor you should treat it as if going to the grocery store. Most of the time you don't just pick up the first jar of peanut butter you see but you like to choose one that will fit what you expect from the product.

and with that said. HAPPY NEW YEAR! I can't wait to share 2014 with all of you.

Until Next Time,

Kristy TheFootGal

Nonunion Week 13 | Medical Cannabis (weed)

Hello viewers.

I have some news to share with you and I wanted to have really experienced the difference and affects of Medical Cannabis (weed) before I announced that it was my drug of choice. well I am now almost two weeks out of surgery and I Can say it now :

MEDICAL CANNABIS IS MY DRUG OF CHOICE FOR PAIN RELIEF

Yep I just said that. Me, Kristy, who about a year ago (10 months) was MORMON. I have done weed on higher levels then some "pot heads." Yep, I just said that too. Wow, surprising even myself. I'm proud of it though, because this is the way of the future and it should be. I want to start off by posting this video I just watched:

That's right people grapefruit can kill you. Because of the drugs that are "supposed" to help us. I know that I've mentioned this on many occasions because it was such a disappointment to have to deal with when I was already in so much pain. But I was eating grapefruit, during my second surgery, because I really care about my health now. Well, I was eating grapefruit for breakfast every morning and mixed with the amounts of Lortab (norco) I was on, it made me physically ill. I vomited horribly on multiple occasions. I have a extremely STRONG stomach. So vomiting is not a normal thing for me. Let alone projectile vomiting.

Why may you ask does this have to do with Medical Cannabis well guess what? I don't have to worry about DYING from my breakfast. I can get as High and as HAPPY as I want. Thanks to medical cannabis not only that I've experienced some extreme differences.

 Keep in mind I do not smoke weed. I have been Vaping weed, (much softer on your body and gets rid of other bad things), and Digesting it. My preferred method when used for pain is Edibles. Why? because it causes you to have a longer lasting and more body high. This can be a intense high if you haven't gotten high before. I highly (haha, wink, wink) suggest you either smoke/vape it for the first few times to get used to the way being high is.

So you may be wondering now. HOW? how can it be good for pain Kristy. It's a plant. That's crazy. You are crazy. Weed is bad. Bad Kristy Bad bad bad Kristy. Well You can think what you want honestly I could give two shits about that. Because I am never going back to norco, never.

So to paint a picture for you. Kristy two years ago before surgery. Full of life and full of the future. She wanted to do anything and be everything. Then she had to get surgery. She lost her dreams and hopes and aspirations. She couldn't see how her future could work anymore without the proper function of her feet. She felt worthless. During those first surgeries she took pain killers. Lots of them because she thought it was the only way to survive the time she was forced to be on the couch and the only way to relieve the pain.



Second surgery rolls around six months after the first. She's ready to jump on board and get this out of the way. Life is too short to have to "WASTE" her time with foot surgeries. YUCK. Then the pain killers came back into her life. It all got darker when she took them, she fell so easily back into old patterns that she had spent the last 3 months getting rid of. But it was just sooo easy. Then she realized the pain had gone a little but she didn't care. Her pain still existed. Deep down in her heart. She was still broken and the pain killers let her ignore that. Then Kristy realized that she could go off the pain killers for things she really desired to do. Like, Read the hunger games. Then she slowly just got rid of them. (later on I realized I was detoxing but at the time I had no idea I was addicted).

FAST FORWARD A YEAR to now and some really difficult news later. 

She was a much different person. She thought she had escaped the world she had been forced to live in for two years. She was trying new things and improving her life in EVERY way. She knew she had a lot to catch up on. Two years is a long time for not living a life you want to live.

Then it happened. The doctor told me the hard news. The true news. The honest news. "You have to do it again, I am so sorry."

deep deep deep down I went. Back into that sadness. WHY... again? but I thought.. really? again?.. Okay again we go. BUT... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I can't do the pills I can't. How will I do this without the pills. I can't do them they hurt me. They KILL me. Yes they KILL me.

Then I phoned my brother and he gave me this bit of advice "Kristy at least you don't have to take lortab this time." WHAT? I DON"T? HOW? "you live in california you can just use weed." Wait... I can? but weed is bad? that is bad? that makes me bad right? no.

Some SPICY  Dark Canna-Chocolate Dip on a banana 

That is how my journey started. After surgery I took the pain killers they gave me in the hospital and then the second day I also took it. Because I was afraid to use the cannabis because it was "bad." I did have everything I need to use weed, though. I had  used it to see what it was like a few times to see how the pain went away with what pain I had before surgery. Which, if you decide to do this please learn what it is like to  FEEL your body before you have extreme pain. Weed makes you extremely aware of your body. It takes a while to get used to. Especially if you live with chronic pain as I do. You have to re learn what the pain is and how it's happening. The weed helps that though and will train you to move your body in a way that HELPS the pain go away.

Some Cannabutter Cinnamon Bread yum yum.

So before this gets crazy insanely long. I want to tell you. When I was on pain killers for that one day.. it made me do and say things that I couldn't control. horrible awful, rotten, rude, things. Because you have to fight against the constant urge to fall asleep. This constant urge to NOT shut your brain off. so the main difference and easiest way I know how to put it is:

Pain Killers : They cause your brain to turn off. Because they TURN OFF the part of your brain that tells you that you are feeling pain.

Medical Cannabis : Makes you feel the pain but makes you understand it and makes you aware of how it needs to be taken care of then makes you not care about it (AT ALL). It makes you not CARE because you will just be doing exactly what your body needs. which is rest. and rest you will. However, my brain went into HYPER drive. I could think and read, learn, live, love, feel, and anything else you do when your brain does not get SHUT OFF by pain killers.

I will write more about this. I have a lot to say. The last thing on here though I want to say is that it was the easiest thing to NOT take. I've been off of any kind of medicine for basically two days now! I have the CHOICE to take it when I need it. I didn't have a choice with the pain killers. I have the CHOICE to go off it if I don't need it. With pain killers my body still WANTED IT. because on pain killers you don't experience the pain. So when you turn your brain on again you experience the new pain ALL over again. so awful.. but with weed I just experience everything I see and feel the pain go away.

With that. I do hope some of you take the time to realize the dangers of pain killers. Even the simple ones like eating grapefruit with it. Even though they are "legal" in most places. It KILLED me.


The Foot Gal