Advice from others | Enjoy

Hello,

I am currently just having a pleasant night off from work and thought hell. I might as well post on my blog. I found some amazing videos and resources that I didn't realize what they were. First off this website:

http://community.goodbyecrutches.com/blog?sort=newestPosts

I had Goodbyecrutches tweet me and asked me to post my advice on their sight. I haven't thought about it for months and just saw the tweet again and I am so glad I did. I have read some really great advice on this website before but didn't realize how it worked. Check it out it's great for lower body injuries. I'm on there find me!

Second here are some videos I've found by looking at this site!

Needless to say I'm very excited! 

Always, 

   Kristy

Nonunion 8 Months | Good News

My has it been a long while? yes, the answer is yes.

Life always gets a bit more busy and complicated once I start moving around without a boot. I become more physically tired and in return mentally tired. Which, unfortunately means my online life suffers but is never and will never be forgotten. 

I have been walking for almost 3 months without the boot and am getting stronger every day. I think the most challenging part about this phase in recovery is pushing through pain day after day. I strongly urge you to do it though. Even if you feel absolutely pooped find something that gets you challenging that bone to heal. It's been proven that being more active promotes healing so do it! No matter how hard. I've really been living by this and my calf muscle has been back for ages now! It's so much easier once things start to become more stable again. However, I still have many aches and pains in all sorts of places. 

On to other news I have just uploaded a new video and am incredibly excited to share this with my blog family.. been a bit nervous honestly. Since part of me is still in utter disbelief. But here it is.... GOOD NEWS.

There it is out in the open. My right foot's journey is finally over. over. Wow, saying that makes me tingly. There are a few details I didn't say in the video that I'd like to say here so I am going to write the story down and if you want to hear it in full keep reading. If not thank you so much for your time and have a good day! As always reach out through comments as well as emails! There are always others finding my blog who may find your thoughts and feelings useful! Including myself.

Doctor Day
(D Day)

I had recently started pushing myself more and more each day and was becoming more worrisome of if things were going well and what not. I had days where there was no doubt that my foot was stronger and healthier then it had been in years. But, then there were other days where it began to hurt differently or even in a familiar way and that is when the worry would set in. Mostly I just badly wanted to know.

Once the day finally came I was a nervous ball of excitement, so was my partner. We got there and as always looked at the collection of good deeds my doctor has done and his stunning collection of books. Anything, to distract how we were feeling. Then I was taken back to do the usual X-ray's; one with your foot flat and normal and one on the side. These have become common practice to me and when the nurse joked about "all you probably want to do is wear sandals" I quietly thought to myself while simultaneously giving her a little chuckle of comfort.. no all I want is my bone to be doing well. Sandals were the least from my mind.

Fairly soon afterward my doctor comes in with his normal kind yet assessing face and his hand stretched out. Something that has become a huge comfort to me during these last 9 months. He shakes my hand and says " You are usually always smiling. You should be smiling." To this I gave him a small side smile which is all I could muster with how unpleasantly nervous I was feeling. Yet, I agree with him everyone should always be smiling. I even felt a ping of guilt not being able to muster up a good one for him.

He sits down and puts the X-Ray up on the screen and zooms into his masterpiece. Takes a good look at it and turns to me and says "It's solid, you can hardly see where there were gaps before. Now they are just small slivers in a bone." Even at this point I wasn't able to give a smile but I did my best. I was in shock. Absolute shock. I had all these questions lined up for him and now none of them seemed to matter. He went on to say that he strongly believes I will continue to get stronger and feel better then I ever had (including before my first surgeries since this is a journey I've been on since age 10).

After I stubbornly asked all my worrisome questions, and was told that I may always feel "weird or odd," he kindly asked to take pictures of my feet. The look in his eyes then is something I will never forget. He was proud. I never expected to see that face from a doctor and let alone about something he had helped me with. However, I now never want to see anything else. He should be proud. He did a magnificent job. From the very first X-ray I saw to how he molded my cast I knew he was a perfectionist. The hard work he did on me paid off and he deserves to be just as overjoyed as I am.

Well readers I know this was a bit different but I hope it was something worth reading.

Until Next Time

TheFootGal

Nonunion 4 Months | Relearning to Walk and Walking Aids

Hello and Happy Holidays.

I meant to post this video a couple weeks ago but the holidays got the best of me which is always a good thing.

I started walking on October 30th. My doctor ordered me off the knee scooter! Mostly because I love how fast I can go on it, I'm such a little kid these days. The video touches on how I was doing about a month after walking. I started using the motto "Just Move" shortly after making this video. I strongly urge you to do that once you are given the go ahead on walking. It's not fun at first but if you are healing it is the best thing you can do. Walking on your injured foot actually stimulates bone growth. Which, if you are like me, you would really like that to happen!

Just like the video title says have cautious optimism. Don't expect to be where you were before surgery anytime soon. After being off your foot for an extended period of time your body will be used to sitting and probably not sitting very well. What I mean is that from many years of experience with having casts/wrappings/walking boots on my foot, I have found that I tend to sit in the "most comfortable" way possible. If you have any injury you understand what I mean by this. This surgery I found that I leaned to the left a lot. I'm not sure if this is something that can be avoided but I do plan to test it during my next surgery.

It's good to be aware of how you are sitting. If at all possible, try to sit up straight. Having to correct more than what is already being damaged is not easy. I had someone ask me about how I dealt with hip/knee pain along with walking in the boot. I hadn't noticed previous surgeries that I struggled with those. This time though I really did notice the knee and hip pain. I've started going to a massage therapist as often as cost allows. I know not everyone can do this. I certainly wouldn't have been able to during my first surgeries. A couple things I have learned though is that getting a walking cane and a product called Evenup are solutions I have found to help without the massages.

You may not realize the benefits of a walking cane. I know I didn't know anything about it other than "old people" used it, but don't let that stop you from getting one. After having a cane for a month I can testify that it is extremely useful for lower body injuries. It has helped me focus and slow down while walking along with helping my balance and mobility and evening out the strain on my joints and muscles. I can't really say why doctors haven't suggested the use of a cane before to me but if you have not been suggested to use one I am here to say that you should. I have been able to feel my joints loosening up and my muscles being used correctly. It's not an easy change but it is one I am grateful for each day. Here is a short article about walking sticks/canes "Benefits of Using a Walking Stick."

Now to inform you about the product called the Evenup. First things first here is the official website where you can read all about it http://www.evenupcorp.com/ . Second, I will be making a video reviewing my walking cane and the evenup I received so subscribe to my Youtube Channel for when that gets uploaded. There isn't a whole lot else to share with you about it. It's pretty straight forward. When you wear a walking boot it is higher than most shoes. It is also still a noticeable amount higher than most sneakers (all sneakers I've had). All I have to say about both of these products is how much does your health and body mean to you? The simple truth is if you don't use these products you run a high risk of learning to walk wrong and continuing to hurt your body when you do so, even after you are all healed and out of the walking boot.

I'm here to share my woes and joys with you. When it comes to physical trials they tend to be filled with many woes. I hope you see that these products I share with you are ones that have bettered my life in ways I have a hard time finding words for. If you do buy these products let me know what you noticed by getting them! It may seem like a lot of money but trust me in the long run it will be something you couldn't put a price on.

Until Next Time,

TheFootGal

Reoccurring Theme

I'm not sure if I've openly talked about my opinion on situations such as mine (anything that is life changing or altering). It's easy to see that I am physically handicapped. It's not as easy to see or be aware that there are two sides to having a physical handicap.

This is a very personal subject to me and I have only shared it with a handful of close friends and relatives. I strongly believe that there is always a physical and mental challenge while tackling a life changing situation, whether it be changing your diet or losing your feet. It's something that I have been able to be more aware of as I have been going through this for almost 3 years now.

Think about it this way. When you decided to cut out that daily dose of Mickey D's french fries you don't just do your body good but you mentally tend to crave or even miss it like a long lost friend. Studies have shown that people over eat because of their feelings.

I've had so many experiences and still to this day encounter at least one person a day that can not see past my physical trial. They want to know what happened? What is this thing you are on? how long have you been in that cast/boot? Is it going to get better? and well.. when you are honest and say "I do not know and neither does my doctor" they all seem to shrink away. I witness their face gone from curiosity to immediate pity. Most cases these people ask some less "harmful" questions and then walk away and continue their day leaving me with the awful sense that I just told them their dog died.

I'm not sure where you say "HEY I'M A HUMAN WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS." I haven't quite figured this out yet. I usually just scoot along and find a quiet place to read or indulge in my current obsession. The sense that every time I encounter someone like this doesn't go or fade away though. It lingers and sits like I just ate rotten food. In fact I've had it happen over and over with immediate family and close friends, where they swear to me that I don't deserve this and that I will get better. Then I have to silently tell myself that they mean well but the real truth is no one knows the outcome.

It's hard to make friends when so many people look at me and all they see is a big booted foot.

Until next time,

TheFootGal

Nonunion 3 Months | Updating Updating Updating

As one can imagine time has gotten away from me. When you don't have a job or anything that really "forces" you out of your home then you kind of start drifting. It makes me wonder about who invented time. My idea is that someone kept putting this off like.. eating, sleeping, tending to the crops and realized that maybe marking time would be a good idea. Anyhow, I have no real physical things marking my time. Everything I do is by choice (which is fantastic) but it can become challenging.

Like I talked about in my post My 2 Week Vacation is Over, I was starting to feel isolated. This isn't new to me. Not at all. It's like.. being a 5 year old kid with no school, choirs, and well.. all your friends have school, and choirs. So you are left to your own means of entertainment if you will. I posted a video-log on what I have been filling in my time with. If you would like to see that video just go to my channel at www.youtube.com/user/TheFootGal. Don't forget to subscribe so that you can see any video that I do not post here! Same with following my blog. These things help you stay connected to my new material.

This got me thinking and I figured I should probably also update more on how I am actually doing. That is what this space is for. This lovely lovely canvas I call my blog. I went to the beach yesterday to think through my own emotions. What I'm going through, how I'm handling it, how I continue to push on and do my "thaaaang." Lets just say I sat at the beach, put my headphones in.... and cried.

 For almost an hour. I went home feeling refreshed and much more connected with myself. However, I did end up creating this video once I got home (Yes I'm sunburnt, YOLO).

Since this is foot related I wanted to make sure you all got to see it and give you a update on... well.. Me. Mainly I just want to give some advice on how to fill in the void that comes when you get disconnected from the life you.. "once had" or "will have again" depending on the situation. Mine just happens to be the "once had" and now I have to find what's NEXT. Which is exciting. 

It's like going off to college right out of high school. So much is unknown to you. You have no idea what you are about to jump into. So many emotions come to mind when I think of high school ending and college beginning. All those emotions I seem to feel now. Excitement, anticipation, nervous, anxious, scared, sad and ready.  

If you "land on your feet" so to say and find yourself in a situation where you feel you have either been denying yourself of your true potential or you wish to move on to the next thing. Well I can say I get that. For me I have been focusing on a few things to keep myself motivated. 

1. Getting out by myself.
• I've been making sure that I go to the mall here once a week if not more. This has gotten a series of reactions from people most of which have been 'what? I'd go with you I'm sorry you are there alone.' to this I say. Yes, it would be nice to have company but on a different day when I'm not going for just "me." A lot comes with school, jobs and anything that you go out and set a majority of time in. One of those things is Independence. We all have and we all need it. This is my little way of saying "Kristy YOU GO GIRL." To my surprise it has been helping more then anything! The beach day was one of those however, Clayton did have to come with me so  I had a ride.
2. Staying away from social Media AKA Facebook
• If you are family reading this then you know that I have deleted Facebook more then once since foot surgery. I even went so far as to deleting friends and ONLY having family. When you are at a cross roads in life and maybe have a LITTLE too much time on your hands. I highly suggest if not deleting then making some hard ground rules for yourself so that you don't get caught up in everyone else's business and their so called "Facebook achievements." you are not those people. You will never be those people. If it bothers you then just walk away. So I have been working on this. 
3. Achieving something 
• No brainer right? We all like to do something we can be proud of. I talk about a lot of these things in my Video Log update. I have a list of beanies I have been working on and I plan to knit every single one! I'm 4 1/2 down! Should be starting 5 today if all goes well. I have been posting video logs and now I will updated my blog. To me these are accomplishments. 

So if you may be going through a hard time where you are experiencing intense emotions that maybe.. seem too much to handle. I hope you remember my post and remember to keep your chin up. Keep throwing those punches and when all else fails you can always email me and I'll tell you to keep throwing the punches. I screamed into a pillow the other day and let me tell you.. WOW. so much a relief. 

Also a video about Google glass and more inspiration! (Google glass is my latest obsession)

Until Next Time

TheFootGal

Nonunion Week 14 | How's The Foot?

My new favorite game is to answer the question "How is the foot?" Most people ask it along with "how are you?" So it makes me giggle. My favorite response is "I'm doing great and enjoying life! I think my foot is doing okay but it hasn't told me lately!"

I know I haven't posted directly about my foot but to be honest it would just be a repeat. I will give some personal insight to this experience and to my life in general this time. It's different when it isn't your first time and when things aren't mapped out so clearly. However, I have already written posts from my previous surgery that should help with more of a Physical aspect and to give insight to that side of recovery. All those things are still very relevant and are still happening. It's just that I've been able to accept this as my present. Rather then hoping for it to be over every minute that I'm living it.

So here are the links from 2-3 weeks last surgery |

Surgery Day | Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3/4 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 9 | Day 12 | Day 13 | Day 14  | Day 17 | Day 19 | Day 20

If you have already lived this journey with me or if you have already read those post I just linked to, then you know that the me in those post is no longer the me of today. I can sit here and tell you all the physical trials all over again but honestly if you need the help physically that is what those links are for. They focus on the physical aspect of surgery because that is what I, as a person was overcoming at the time.

Don't get me wrong all of those lessons I learned my previous 5 surgeries are important and I still am adhering to them as I live through this most recent surgery. If there is anything you fill you did not get help with or would like further information on PLEASE contact me, the answer is always no if you don't ask. I'd be more then willing to either write about it on here or write you personally to help ease the worry that can come along with the pain.

I think there is an aspect to surgery that tends to not get mentioned. This has to do with any surgery not just foot surgery. There are parts of surgery that can be completely emotionally draining. Let me give an example.

The one that comes clearest to me is the social aspect. As someone who is very young and very healthy and would love to surround herself with people every day. It doesn't seem to happen as often as hoped. I'm not only talking about right now but in the past too. I've mentioned in my video logs and in my blog posts how isolated it is. Physical things are things you can not deny. People see them and instantly feel pity. It's a human emotion and I'm not saying it's wrong. However, I think we should try to show more empathy.

Empathy

the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.


We tend to be distracted by the physical problem when during these things the emotional trauma is what is most damaging to the person. This is my 5th time and I've learned that it's not worth the time to hope that everyone in my life would take a step backwards and at least try to see what it may be like to be isolated in your home. I've had many cases where people have just flat out been rude to me about how "No one could understand."

I'm here to tell you that if you have felt this way you are lying to yourself. Have you ever felt lonely? Depressed? Discouraged? Sad? Angry? Lost your independence? Frustrated? Anxiety? Boredom? Embarrassed? Remorse?

The answer is YES. Sure you can't feel my pain or do this for me. I would never wish it. These kinds of things aren't easy but when the people around you aren't willing to truly empathize with you. FEEL with you. Understand the feelings you are having.. then all you get is dark and lonely feelings.

I am not trying to rag on anyone. No one person is to blame for this. I do blame society a little bit for making so that everyone has the right to be "busy." Sure be busy but in that business remember there is a human out there that is longing for your empathy.

TheFootGal

Nonunion Week 13 | Medical Cannabis (weed)

Hello viewers.

I have some news to share with you and I wanted to have really experienced the difference and affects of Medical Cannabis (weed) before I announced that it was my drug of choice. well I am now almost two weeks out of surgery and I Can say it now :

MEDICAL CANNABIS IS MY DRUG OF CHOICE FOR PAIN RELIEF

Yep I just said that. Me, Kristy, who about a year ago (10 months) was MORMON. I have done weed on higher levels then some "pot heads." Yep, I just said that too. Wow, surprising even myself. I'm proud of it though, because this is the way of the future and it should be. I want to start off by posting this video I just watched:

That's right people grapefruit can kill you. Because of the drugs that are "supposed" to help us. I know that I've mentioned this on many occasions because it was such a disappointment to have to deal with when I was already in so much pain. But I was eating grapefruit, during my second surgery, because I really care about my health now. Well, I was eating grapefruit for breakfast every morning and mixed with the amounts of Lortab (norco) I was on, it made me physically ill. I vomited horribly on multiple occasions. I have a extremely STRONG stomach. So vomiting is not a normal thing for me. Let alone projectile vomiting.

Why may you ask does this have to do with Medical Cannabis well guess what? I don't have to worry about DYING from my breakfast. I can get as High and as HAPPY as I want. Thanks to medical cannabis not only that I've experienced some extreme differences.

 Keep in mind I do not smoke weed. I have been Vaping weed, (much softer on your body and gets rid of other bad things), and Digesting it. My preferred method when used for pain is Edibles. Why? because it causes you to have a longer lasting and more body high. This can be a intense high if you haven't gotten high before. I highly (haha, wink, wink) suggest you either smoke/vape it for the first few times to get used to the way being high is.

So you may be wondering now. HOW? how can it be good for pain Kristy. It's a plant. That's crazy. You are crazy. Weed is bad. Bad Kristy Bad bad bad Kristy. Well You can think what you want honestly I could give two shits about that. Because I am never going back to norco, never.

So to paint a picture for you. Kristy two years ago before surgery. Full of life and full of the future. She wanted to do anything and be everything. Then she had to get surgery. She lost her dreams and hopes and aspirations. She couldn't see how her future could work anymore without the proper function of her feet. She felt worthless. During those first surgeries she took pain killers. Lots of them because she thought it was the only way to survive the time she was forced to be on the couch and the only way to relieve the pain.



Second surgery rolls around six months after the first. She's ready to jump on board and get this out of the way. Life is too short to have to "WASTE" her time with foot surgeries. YUCK. Then the pain killers came back into her life. It all got darker when she took them, she fell so easily back into old patterns that she had spent the last 3 months getting rid of. But it was just sooo easy. Then she realized the pain had gone a little but she didn't care. Her pain still existed. Deep down in her heart. She was still broken and the pain killers let her ignore that. Then Kristy realized that she could go off the pain killers for things she really desired to do. Like, Read the hunger games. Then she slowly just got rid of them. (later on I realized I was detoxing but at the time I had no idea I was addicted).

FAST FORWARD A YEAR to now and some really difficult news later. 

She was a much different person. She thought she had escaped the world she had been forced to live in for two years. She was trying new things and improving her life in EVERY way. She knew she had a lot to catch up on. Two years is a long time for not living a life you want to live.

Then it happened. The doctor told me the hard news. The true news. The honest news. "You have to do it again, I am so sorry."

deep deep deep down I went. Back into that sadness. WHY... again? but I thought.. really? again?.. Okay again we go. BUT... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I can't do the pills I can't. How will I do this without the pills. I can't do them they hurt me. They KILL me. Yes they KILL me.

Then I phoned my brother and he gave me this bit of advice "Kristy at least you don't have to take lortab this time." WHAT? I DON"T? HOW? "you live in california you can just use weed." Wait... I can? but weed is bad? that is bad? that makes me bad right? no.

Some SPICY  Dark Canna-Chocolate Dip on a banana 

That is how my journey started. After surgery I took the pain killers they gave me in the hospital and then the second day I also took it. Because I was afraid to use the cannabis because it was "bad." I did have everything I need to use weed, though. I had  used it to see what it was like a few times to see how the pain went away with what pain I had before surgery. Which, if you decide to do this please learn what it is like to  FEEL your body before you have extreme pain. Weed makes you extremely aware of your body. It takes a while to get used to. Especially if you live with chronic pain as I do. You have to re learn what the pain is and how it's happening. The weed helps that though and will train you to move your body in a way that HELPS the pain go away.

Some Cannabutter Cinnamon Bread yum yum.

So before this gets crazy insanely long. I want to tell you. When I was on pain killers for that one day.. it made me do and say things that I couldn't control. horrible awful, rotten, rude, things. Because you have to fight against the constant urge to fall asleep. This constant urge to NOT shut your brain off. so the main difference and easiest way I know how to put it is:

Pain Killers : They cause your brain to turn off. Because they TURN OFF the part of your brain that tells you that you are feeling pain.

Medical Cannabis : Makes you feel the pain but makes you understand it and makes you aware of how it needs to be taken care of then makes you not care about it (AT ALL). It makes you not CARE because you will just be doing exactly what your body needs. which is rest. and rest you will. However, my brain went into HYPER drive. I could think and read, learn, live, love, feel, and anything else you do when your brain does not get SHUT OFF by pain killers.

I will write more about this. I have a lot to say. The last thing on here though I want to say is that it was the easiest thing to NOT take. I've been off of any kind of medicine for basically two days now! I have the CHOICE to take it when I need it. I didn't have a choice with the pain killers. I have the CHOICE to go off it if I don't need it. With pain killers my body still WANTED IT. because on pain killers you don't experience the pain. So when you turn your brain on again you experience the new pain ALL over again. so awful.. but with weed I just experience everything I see and feel the pain go away.

With that. I do hope some of you take the time to realize the dangers of pain killers. Even the simple ones like eating grapefruit with it. Even though they are "legal" in most places. It KILLED me.


The Foot Gal