Here I am 9 days until surgery... YICKES. I want to talk about how this is my fifth time doing this and I'm just so ready for it to happen and to get going... but that would be a lie. I've done this so many times already I should get used to it right? I should be prepared for what is coming and not be scared or unsure. I should know. It seems though that each time I become more aware of what is happening and that tends to make it harder and easier at the same time.
I woke up today and didn't plan on getting ready straight away but I had a friend write me on FB and remind me that we had a google+ hang out set up for today and I wanted to do it so I hopped in the shower. Once I was in there I realized that I only have 8 more showers standing up for God knows how long. I instantly burst into tears. You want to be able to look at those moments and say "This is one of 9 showers I have left standing up on both feet . lets make the best of it." Instead I found myself wallowing and wishing I didn't have to lose it.
I'm not sure there is any proper response to this but this is how my body chose to react. I did stay in the shower a bit longer then I had planned because I do enjoy my showers and they are a lot easier to enjoy standing up then sitting. However, I still have it in the back of my mind as "you only have 8 left."
I'm not trying to sound depressed or pessimistic by saying this. I'm just telling you, my viewers, how I feel today. These surgeries are a part of me now. My feet are mine and no one else's. I'd say walk a mile in my shoes but to be honest I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Just know that to me this is my life. These surgeries the doctors and the people I encounter during all of it tend to become my friends. I honestly say that my doctor in Utah is someone I'd like to send a Christmas card to and get one back from. I'm ready to start this journey but part of me is not willing yet. Unfortunately that part of me will always lose because this is not my choice. If I had a choice then things would be different.
I have posted quite a few Vlogs lately but they haven't been geared towards my foot surgery audience. Here is a video explaining how I want my Vlog to work from here on out and it will include everything that is important to me. Which a big part of that is surgeries.
I am going to be posting a How To | Use a Walking Boot/Shoe soon. I got that suggestion from someone who may need one in the future. Again I love getting suggestions from my viewers because I want them to be helpful to you. Please let me know if you would like to see anything!
The Foot Gal
Hi Kirsty :-) Just joined your blog as a follower but wanted to let you know I am also having a calcaneal osteotomy on 14th August so 5 days after you ! We can compare recovery - you have obviously been through a fair few operations though. This will be my first (and hopefully only !). Niki
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