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| Photo done by Ausia Hamblin Photography |
Out of everything during the holiday season, New Years is my favorite. I've never been big on resolutions because I think it's important to challenge yourself every day. The thing that sticks for me is being able to set a time mark of where you have come within the year. Starting a new year means reinventing the you of the future.
As I sit here feeling optimistic for the future I was going to make a list of my "bests of 2013."
I'm sure I could make a pretty decent list but the first thing that came to my mind were my doctor experiences this year.
The beginning of this year I was still seeing the doctor that I had when I first moved here. I would go and get x-rays and get vague responses about the pain level I was in. He always had "positive" things to say about it.and things that made us think I was still on a path to recovery. However, after 2 years of looking at X-rays on a pretty consistent 2 month schedule I started to realize nothing seemed to be changing and I just kept having a sinking feeling every time I'd leave his office.
Eventually I got fed up and one morning during our regular Sunday brunch day I brought it up to my partner. It wasn't easy having to tell him that I really didn't trust this guy. Not because I thought it was the wrong choice but because what he had been telling us was just feeding into our "hope." This journey isn't just mine but my partners as well. He wants me to heal and feel strong just as much as I do and having to tell him that I wasn't feeling strong and that I didn't think this doctor was being honest with me was hard for both of us.
After that we went to one more visit before throwing in the towel.
It's a scary process to find a doctor and it can be emotionally troubling for long periods of time. As most great things in this world they usually have some equally bad things to go along with them. For me finding Doctor W. was finally a moment where I felt like I could breathe. I had been feeling the pain of walking on my, now known, nonunions and I was grateful to have a doctor again who seemed as concerned as I was. We all know how this story goes though. My concern was shortly followed by the news of having to start this foot surgery journey all over again.
I still remember Doctor W's eyes when he told me. They were full of sorrow. I can't imagine what it must be like for a doctor to look into a 22 year old's eyes and tell her that she will not only have to do it again but that he wasn't sure he could. I do know though that his emotion and intent was pure and humble. These are all rare and important traits for a doctor to carry.
This is the moment that comes to my mind when I think of 2013. It may seem weird to you that this is my fondest memory of the year but everything that has come to me since that day has been life changing, because this one doctor was humble enough to say I needed more.
I hope that you all have had a wonderful 2013. I know that I have had one of the best years of my life and to you viewers reading this, you play a huge part in that. Thank you.
Remember that we are all just humans getting by. Even the doctors we trust. Don't treat it lightly if you don't trust them. PLEASE find another one. The doctor I have now is someone I hope to have in my life for as long as mortality will allow. He has made this surgery less of a burden. I had someone tell me that while picking a doctor you should treat it as if going to the grocery store. Most of the time you don't just pick up the first jar of peanut butter you see but you like to choose one that will fit what you expect from the product.
and with that said. HAPPY NEW YEAR! I can't wait to share 2014 with all of you.
Until Next Time,
Kristy TheFootGal
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